Sour mood, need to vent. And I had today off too.

Got up at 5 a.m. in a raging snowstorm to take the new puppy out to pee. Puppy sniffed around, didn't pee. Got pissed. Took puppy inside. Puppy promply pissed on the floor. Went back to bed.

5:15 a.m., puppy yelping because it apparently "misses" me. Forced to go downstairs from my warm bed to puppy and sit on the couch when it curls up in a ball next to me and goes to sleep. Noticed a pile of crap on the floor near the TV.

8 a.m. Woke up on the couch to a puppy whinning because what I believed was bladder pains. Took said puppy outside. The raging freaking blizzard had dumped at least 10 inches since 5 a.m. Puppy sniffed around, looked at me and yelped, no piss. Got mad again. Took puppy inside where, you guessed it, it promply pissed.

8:30 am. cleaned up piss and crap messes, while puppy snored on couch. Went back to bed, on the couch.

10 a.m., Woke to a puppy licking my face. Once awake puppy ran to the door wanting to go out. After several unclean words from my mouth, I put on my boots and headed out into the even worse blizzard - now it was over 1.5 feet of white crap on the ground - and took the puppy out. Hallefreakingluyah ... it took a crap. No piss though. Went inside. Puppy pissed.

And so on and so on and so on ...

5 p.m. picked up 2 year old daughter from day care. got home to a puddle of piss in the living room and an excited puppy jumping and licking the daughter in the face.

6 p.m. wife gets home from work. Finally I can relax? No. She wants to go for a run cause her day was "so stessful."

6:30 p.m. daughter has a tantrum, puppy takes a piss, cat almost tripps me, dinner boils over and phone rings ... all. at. the. same. time.

7 p.m. Wife comes home. Notices my strange "psychotic" look and backs away slowly. Takes the dog out to pee for me. Dog doesn't pee. Not even in the house. Instead the damn thing curls up on the wife's lap when she sits on the couch and goes to sleep. She says it is because she has established she is the alpha dog in the house.

8 p.m. I start drinking again after a year break. Still freaking snowing outside. My car is no longer noticable in the drive and looks like a snowbank.

10 p.m. Time to take the dog out again. Decide to get rid of the dog ASAP.

Anyone want a beagle? Please save me.

am wondering... how did your wife go for a run in 1.5 feet of snow?

funny story.. fun thing is my new puppy will be ready for pick up Dec 22. not looking forward to cleaning up piss and poop.. since I have a 2 month old daughter she does plenty of that..

In times like yours I thank god I have my own wegiht room in my basement..

pop a little bit of spike.

go down stairs.

Turn on some Ramstein and do deads with loose plates in till the metal choir dronws out the pain in my head.

Still that was pretty funny

Laughing My Ass Off.....although it is good to see I'm not the only one.  I went through the same thing myself awhile back.  Two year old son and then the wife says we should get a dog to complete the family....gee what's next the white picket fence?

Anyway does my wife get a nice simply dog? A cute little cuddly thing? No she comes home with a Bullmastiff. 

Well the dog is now 7 months old and weighs 90lbs.  The boy is two and can't sit still for longer than five minutes and I'm still cleaning up after both of them.

Oh the joys of life.....I long for the throwing season....my escape.

Trust me McBain things get better!!

JG

Jeremy, I know that hindsight is 20/20 - but brother, you should have gotten a German Shepherd! Hope that your day gets better,

-Roland

Thanks for the support. To answer a few questions:

* The wife runs at the gym on the treadmill. She tried running in the snow but fell on her face. I am thinking about getting her snow traction spikes for running in snowy icy weather outside as well as a nice easy to see at night dog leash to take the damn dog with her on her jaunts.

* The drink was Dalmore. Straight. No ice. When that ran out it was on to the Jamesons. When it ran out it was tequila. When it ran out I knew I was going to have a bad morning.

* The wife insists on keeping the dog inside. She wants a house dog. I want a house without a dog. I am losing.

* I thought about the fence but it is damn hard to put one up with all this snow. However I am thinking about making a fence by piling up big walls of snow and watering them down to make them pure slick ice. Let's see that little puppy get over that kennel. With my luck though, the thing will sprout devil wings and soar over it though. I am also thinking about making a "kennel" with orange snow fencing. I will let you know how it goes.

PitRat (aka Bill) - I am surprized you have dogs. I thought you yoopers just domesticated bears. I learn something new each day.

Dave, that is cruel. Flushing rabbits. I mean first you have to teach the dog how to work the toilet, and as it stands now, the dog can't even tell where to empty his bladder, much less know where the bathroom is. Jeremy, take it from me. Train the dog to go hunting with you. Things might work out better for you both. Dave, I can't believe that you're a teacher thinking of stuff like that.I really thought you were a kind and gentile person. I am having second thoughts about sharing hotel rooms with you now! Flushing rabbits. Sheesh!

Everyone in my gym was wondering what I was laughing at! I had to share with everyone...this might now set a new record on the 'read' list.

Sorry to hear about the misfortune....but damn that was funny.....

Now I know why everyone laughs when I say, "Yeah, I think I am going to fly."

Jeremy,

I can empathize with you.  My pit bull is 13 years old and having bladder problems.  He's an inside dog and pees every day in his kennel.  The poor thing is now deaf and yelling at him doesn't do any good - like it ever did anyways.  I have a 2 year old boy who has to be naked the moment he steps foot in the house and has found out any time he touches anything cold he pees right then.  And I found out I get more discipline from yelling at my deaf dog then I do my hearing son.  All this while my 5 year old daughter keeps asking "when the dog dies can we get a cat?"  Which then makes the 7 year old daughter cry for hours on end because she can't stand the thought of the dog dying.  Just once I want to be the Alpha Male of the house and everyone do what I say, but my wife won't let that happen.

That's what you get for having a beagle. Nature's naughtiest dog. They have a knack for knowing what they're supposed to do, but doing the opposite if they think you won't catch them.

McBain1975 wrote: I have come to a realization that this dog was sent by God to punish me in some way for some thing I did in the past. It's a good thing my daughter has me wrapped around her finger... Cameron — thank you for keeping my pain in perspective. Once again I find myself saying, "I am having a bad day, but at least I am not Cameron."

I have come to the realization that Mcbain was sent by God to punish me in some way for something I did in the past.

McBain1975 wrote: * I thought about the fence but it is damn hard to put one up with all this snow. However I am thinking about making a fence by piling up big walls of snow and watering them down to make them pure slick ice. Let's see that little puppy get over that kennel. With my luck though, the thing will sprout devil wings and soar over it though. I am also thinking about making a "kennel" with orange snow fencing. I will let you know how it goes.

Poor misguided Jeremy~ if you built an ice kennel the puppy would just pee a hole right through the side!! All that effort for nothing!! LoL Stick with Plan B!!

Blimey, no offence I read this thread cause its kinda like a train wreck, but a funny one at that.

In other news, I was watching Waynes World, they said that marriage is punishment for shoplifting in some countries.

Isn't the liberal thing to do is Live and let live, give peace a chance, and love the natural world and never hurt any animals?

Oh, so all of the tofu eating, tree hugging, anti-war, ACLU liberals are Christian?

I hate training new puppies, but enjoy them after the first 3 months.  Good Luck, and Stay warm.

I believe it was you the brought politics into with your "Dick Cheney" comment.  I rarley listen to the radio, However I do read several news souces from all over the world.  I have also worn the uniform and still proudly display my eagle/globe/& anchor.  Somthings are right and somthings are wrong.  No problem with anyone worshiping anything they want, but once you attack my country, countrymen or allies, you better be willing to show up for the fight, and for the sake of my childern, it won't be in my back yard.  I think that you need to calm down, and not take everything so personal.  I thought that you also had a line of hummor in your bones, I was mistaken.

Wow! After all of that, and the beagle still pisses on the floor. Amazing how much one learns in these threads...

You can always get a red and white dog house, teach him to lay on the roof peak, and call him snoopy.

It's obvious, and probably not worth mentioning, but the best way that I have found to train them, is to catch him in the act and scare the living bat crap out of him.

Use the collar for the handle.

that sounds like a plan.. didnt realize u were a hunter.

going Bear hunting next yr in the UP..near Hurley Wisconsin.. but I dont use dogs for bear hunting....

1st I only hunt with a bow excluding birds and fowls.

2nd if it was a making of a horror movie you would be invited

   I sense a giant sigh of relief. A long overdue date with the Mrs., some chocolate and perhaps a few flowers (you get the idea) will go a long way towards easing her anger. Or you could just say, "I'm the man of this house, and you are just lucky that I LET you have that dumb dog in the first place! Now shut up and get me a beer!" Oh, if you choose option B, my sofa is always available to you my friend (if my wife say's its OK).

Merry Christmas...

Roland,

You are way too funny.  I almost want to invest in flower shops in the Charlevoix area, just have this feeling the stock will rise in the next few weeks.